Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012

Darn Vestibular

Have you ever missed out on half of your trip around Scandinavia because your head was stuck between your knees?

Have you ever made a fool of yourself by throwing up out your friend's car window?

Do you want to punch the director of every movie that has a spinning scene? (there are other ways to show the passing time!)

Do you ever have to take breaks while doing household chores to sit and shake off the nausea?

Have you given up on ever being able to decorate or watch someone decorate the Christmas tree again?

Has the motion sickness from doing twenty measly morning sit-ups ever put you out for the entire morning and afternoon?


If not, then stop right now and offer thanksgivings for your blessed life. On the other hand, if you suffer through any of these experiences, come commiserate with me. 

I should probably see a doctor about this.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Those Halcyon Days

Trey likes to pull apart our bookshelves. It's actually really cute how he jumps and knows he's doing something bad when I catch him. Today he pulled down and opened my high school yearbook from Freshman year. I started reading some of the things my classmates wrote to me and couldn't stop. Check out some of these gems:

"I do not have a stoker."

"You are too smart and I want some answers from you."

"You have a natural talent to dance or move. You are very flexible." (what in the crap? ha!)

"It was great trying to guess what song was stuck in your head."

"God is in the TV." (with a picture even)

"I have a tip: get better at jokes."

"Surely, you are funny and look like Julia."

"Always eat your vegetables." {recognize that J(no longer M)T?}

"Make sure that, no matter how desperate you are to date my brother, you wait until you're sixteen. Don't worry - you can date him as much as you want after that."

"I know you will remember me. I sit next to you." (deep words from my first serious crush)

Also, in slightly related news, I just watched the pilot episode of Gossip Girl and am already addicted. The things I do to myself.

And, since I can't leave you without something adorable to look at, behold, the child:

Ramens!

Playing Outside

Monday, October 31, 2011

Let's follow Shirley's descent into awkwardness - Halloween style!

Halloween 1

Look at that adorable CareBear! (I have no idea what's up with Jacob. Are those pipe cleaners and cotton balls?)

Halloween 2

Awww. Apparently us three girls are princesses (and a Barbie). Holy incredible hair clip.

Halloween 3

I was probably Cat Woman every other Halloween growing up. When you've found something you can rock so well, why ever change?

Halloween 4

Ah! Holy all that Halloween stands for! Now THAT is scary.

Have fun Halloweening!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Did you know I'm a genius? Fo reals.

Hiya everybody! Sorry to be neglectful of the blog, but I have been crazy busy with a million ton of other things.
Por ejemplo:

Rototill

Rototilling the yard. This isn't actually me. This is Mike from last year. But I did it this year, and pretty much Mike hated me for it. I guess it didn't need it? Whatevers. It was so much fun.

Bathroom Remodel

Finally putting that textured wallpaper up in our bathroom so we can get it put back together. I am very much done with sending guests to the master bathroom. Hopefully I can talk Mike into taking the toilet out again this weekend so we can paint the wall and officially be done!

Halloween TreeHalloween Tree

Wreath

Recycling everything to make awesome Halloween decorations! These two examples are our poor trees that died in the frosts (hey, it's only a $300 decoration!) and my costume from last year that consisted of about a hunnerd yards of tulle. But really, I have so many more frickin' amazing ideas it's genius! I can't get enough of myself. Nor Halloween. Come to our party!

Strawberries

Chopping, chopping, bagging, chopping, freezing strawberries. 16 pounds for myself and a bunch more for my friend (I chopped strawberries, she went on a cruise...hmmm).

Hutch

Holy cow my hutch! In this I am also genius. This is just a sneak peak for you while I await the door hardware (that I ordered a week and a half ago?) and then tell all about it. This almost trumps all of Halloween. But doesn't.

Oatmeal Face

Crawling for DP

Hanging out with this crazy cute kid! Who, actually, sometimes is more crazy than cute. Like today. When taking a borrowed Cinderella dress in a million sizes took me the ENTIRE day instead of a couple of hours. Thank you, crazy cute kid. Then my neighbor (bless her heart) sent her five year-old over and I got more done in that fifteen minutes than I had all day. Woot.

Unfortunately, I will be pretty quiet for the rest of the week and possibly next week as well, what with all the Halloween ingenuity going on over here. I've got to get Mike's costume taken in and Trey's costume made by Saturday for a family party, and then I'll only have a week till our party! Bah!
AND, since my sister will be in town this weekend we have made it a sister's night Saturday (to take place in the morning) and are going to a MASTERS Zumba class. Apparently my sister is going to be an instructor? Yeah, I've seen the videos, and I am terrified. I got zero moves like jagger. One klutzy, awkward, freckled white girl does not equal Shakira (cue hips don't lie in full screen) NO MATTER how much I wish it. Please, raise your hand if your husband's got sexier moves than you and commiserate with me.

UPDATED:  Sorry, forgot to add - I should have started training with a stroller years ago. Holy scrap running with a stroller is the hardest thing! So, for those still in the pre-mom stage that run, I would suggest a little cross training with a jogger.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Oh, What's In a Name?

I was named after my amazing Grandma (and I just happen to be posting this on her BIRTHDAY!). Unfortunately, I didn't get her flair of beauty (wish I had some of her old pics to show you), but I'm happy enough to try to represent her in other ways that I can. It's some pretty intense stuff, having the name of someone else. I can see all of the ways that I don't live up to it, but boy do I try, because being just like grandma would be awesome, of course.

I have always loved my name, though others might not get it. Yet, there is more to this birthright than I imagined growing up. When people hear about Shirley So-And-So the person that comes to mind is

 

Old Lady. Whether she be angry or not. In my experience, Shirley's are usually amiable enough. But either way, Old Lady. This means a couple of things. One is that I am always receiving Old Person mail. Certain groups seem to be endlessly concerned that I have a pretty lot picked out at a cemetery in time, that my casket will be to my liking, that my dentures are staying in tight - and clean, that my will is in order, and that I'm getting all that's due me from Social Security and Medicare. Such considerate souls.

The latest has been so kind as to wonder at my hearing.

   

People automatically assuming I am an old person also makes for trouble when workers come by the house. This is a conversation with our A/C checker guy.
ACCG: I'll give this info to my office. Thanks and have a nice day.
ME: Oh thank you. How will this be billed?
ACCG: Since there was no damage we'll send the bill to the homeowner.
ME: Yes, that's me. Will you still just send it, or will you take payment right now?
ACCG: Oh no we can just send the bill to the homeowner.
ME: Yes, that's me. I'm the homeowner. I'm Shirley. Do you need payment now if I'm Shirley?
ACCG: Oh, YOU'RE Shirley? Okay, yes I can take a card.

This might not all be the fault of my name, though. It could just be that, more than anything else, I am an old person. No, not an old soul. An old person. I talk about young girls like I was fifty years older than they. I fall asleep when I shouldn't - like when hanging out at friends' houses or on Mike's couch (before we were married. ALL the time). I'm losing my mind. All of my hair is falling out (I'm going to have to get the Sheri Do!). My biggest dreams are very old person-esque: Most people know of my desire to run a flower shop someday, but they might not know that I would love love to be a Story Lady.

Please tell me you've heard of The Story Lady. When I watched that as a little girl I wanted to be her, and dang-it I'd be so good at it, too. But really, if it were reading stories to kids or narrating for novels and big productions, I would love it.

So, Shirley: sleepy wannabe story lady, often mistaken for an old person, trying to be just like Grandma.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Lists: Last Week Edition

Self-Inflicted Injuries:
  • two-inch burn on my hand from the oven
  • black eye from walking into the wall
  • cut lip - Amidala lips - from walking into the door
  • gash in the knee from crawling out of Trey's room without him seeing me
  • paper cut
  • paper cut
  • more burns
Days:
  • Sunday
  • Tuesday
  • Wednesday
  • Friday
  • Sunday
  • :-)
Phrases Most Often Said at Trey:
  • What is your deal?
  • You just like me for my body.
  • Ooh I love your chubs!
  • WHAT is your deal?
Rooms I Endlessly Cleaned Yet Defiantly Stayed Messy:
  • Kitchen
  • Great Room
  • Front Bedroom (that we call the Back Bedroom)
  • Master Bathroom (Trey's favorite play room)
  • Note: All other areas of the house were given license to stay in whatever state they desired
 New Shows We Got to Watch Again:
  • Parks and Rec
  • Modern Family
  • Community
  • The Office (not big fans anymore; hulu was on auto play)
  • Glee (I think we watched it)
  • The Lying Game (I watch this because I'm dumb. Really, I can't think of any reason to watch it besides it's on earlier in the week.)
Nail Colors Attempted Yet Ruined Because I Have a Baby:
  • Red (a few times over)
  • Pink
  • Blue
  • Sea-Foam Green
  • Orangey-Red
Sisters I Got to See:
  • Mandy
  • Jill
  • Julia
  • Val
  • Jess (newest SIL)
  • Becca
  • Kendra (let's just be hopeful and count her here)
  • All the rest of you - next girls night in Oct - COME
UPDATED to add:  Things I Lost A Million Times Over and Spent Way Too Much Time Looking For:
  • My glasses
  • Nail polish and accessories
  • Trey's binkies
  • My phone
(Mike is adding to my list)
  • Tweezers
  • Lotion
  • Neosporin
  • My mind